#in case you couldn't tell from this blog's title lmao

[satyascarwash]

Anj on the radar?? PERFECTION

Spotlight: Anjali Bhimani

We sat down with actress and author Anjali Bhimani, who you may know as Aunt Ruby in Ms. Marvel, or the voice of Symmetra in Overwatch, to discuss her life, career, favorite swear word, and Dungeons & Dragons.

[oblivious-nuisance]

Heyooo, could I request a headcanons for Dazai and oda who’s s/o is mori’s daughter.

I luv your blog. Stay healthy and happy, thank chuu

awww, i'm blushiing, make sure you take care of yourself as well!! (๑TᴗT๑)♡. sorry for the delay, hope you enjoy this tho :") (also she's loooong okay) it should also be noted that in dazai's beginning i got my inspiration from the ending scene in fight club, along with the song that played in the background during said scene ("where is my mind" – the pixies). happy imagining <3

ꨄ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐅𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐒/𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈'𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃 **

↳ includes: pm!dazai osamu, oda sakunosuke

warnings: gn!reader, fluff, mentions of suicide (in dazai's case), season 2 (dark era) spoilers (in oda's) so it gets kinda angsty towards the end (i apologise)

↳ part 1 ; part 3

— DAZAI

"oh my, are we getting all shy now, love?" he whispers in your ear as explosions go off around the two of you, debris and iron bars and broken glass falling from the sky as you buried your head further into dazai's neck. "i told you that i would destroy anything and everything if it meant that i could court you, my dear."

the embodiment of "i hate everybody else but you"

i also feel like mori didn't really have a say in this

but he did, however, make bets and secretly plotted it all so that you two would end up together

pfft he just really ships it

since dazai will most likely inherit the title of boss, you just kinda hit the jackpot

expensive dates are a must, my friend

but also some quality alone time, when it's just the two of you

"dazai, father's gonna see this..." you sigh, exasperated, as you're rubbing soothing circles on the bite mark that now graced your shoulder

"and what's the old man gonna do about it, hm? tell ane-san?"

"you're impossible."

the concept of double-suicude hasn't yet passed his youthful mind, but his tendencies still upset you sometimes

"fine, i'll postpone it. for you." he'd whisper in your ear after a particularly rough incident what a dramatic teen i stg

now, onto the spiciest part. his comrades' reactions.

chūya's jaw was on the floor.

"are you mad? you wanna grow out white hairs faster and don't know how to?"

although he's not really fond of the situation (mainly because he feels sorry for you), he just adapts and grows even more attached to the two of you lmao

he's always regarded you as a close confidant, and now even more so (considering the fact that you could handle dazai, and that was no easy task)

oda shrugged and nodded when dazai told him

not too many reactions, but his slightly curious gaze followed your antics and mannerisms the entire night

"well, i can only hope that you'll stop being so reckless now."

"nice try," you couldn't help but huff. "but i don't think that's gonna be the case with this one."

oda just smiled and patted you on the head.

otherwise, he was neutral about it, but, judging by the warm look present in his eyes whenever the two of you would engage in one of your usual heated discussions, you could say that he at least enjoyed your company

deep inside he was so proud of dazai awww (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)

ango politely smiled and bowed in your direction, urging you to do the same thing (you noticed his eyebrow curve slightly upward, but you chose to ignore it)

"i see, so he's the formal guy."

"yup."

"i'm happy to see that you found someone, dazai."

still, the man's eyebrow remained quirked as he studied you throughout the entire time he stayed there

he was looking for resemblances to your father i'm telling you

— ODA

"you're a little menace, you know that?" he smiles as he gently caresses your damp hair, sliding his big hands down the wet skin of your shoulders and slowly massaging them, soothing the sore muscles in the process. "if your father finds out about this, we're screwed." he says nonchalantly, pulling you into his warm chest regardless, savoring the peace that only the cramped and badly lit bathroom could offer

he insists on keeping it low-key

after all, he isn't exactly mori's favourite yk

when he asked you that you keep quiet about it, you couldn't bite back the fact that you're old enough to make decisions on your own and absolutely do not need to give your father any explanations whatsoever

"i understand, love, although it would be quite funny to see you talk to him like that"

"bet."

"please, don't."

although you two behave normally in public (and it's pretty frustrating to some extent), he makes up for it with soft touches and kisses on the forehead when you guys are in the comfort of your home

literally man doesn't take his hands off of you the moment your apartment door is locked

surprisingly, the whole ordeal lasts

a lot

i mean, as long as it could last, considering what happened to oda

and even though the boss found out much later about the you two, a young executive, one port mafia secretary and a bunch of kids were overly curious as to how in the world did sakunosuke oda end up with the forbidden fruit of a criminal organization

when oda told him, dazai was genuinely happy

"my, my, such a risk taker, odasaku. i can see why, though."

he was obviously behaving like his normal self, but somehow softer?

definitely sees you as a parent figure as well, so he asked you if you'd be willing to accompany him on errands and other business he's got to do

good luck with that tho bc he's a handful

ango stayed neutral, as he usually would, but he let you take photos with his fancy camera, so you could say that he felt comfortable enough in your presence

"it's good to see that you still got some nerve, keeps you young and fresh, oda."

he couldn't help but throw in a sassy remark, maybe because dazai rubbed off on him a tad bit

and now, the kids

the kids were absolutely ecstatic

they wouldn't let go of you, they all wanted your attention

the boys, kōsuke, katsumi, yū and shinji, wanted to learn more about how the gun you held in your belt loop worked, and sakura asked so many questions about how nightlife looked and felt in yokohama, that it made you dizzy

oda's heart fluttered in his chest at the sight

mori found out about the whole ordeal only after oda's death, when you couldn't bear it anymore and you had to wail somewhere

and that somewhere ended up being in your father's arms, as he gently patted and rubbed soothing circles on your back

it all reminded you of that first moment in the bathtub with oda and you started whimpering a little bit harder against mori's shoulder

this was probably the only time he scolded himself for not listening to dazai, and discarding oda with no second thoughts

say what you want about him, but he wouldn't deny his child all forms of affection alright (take elise as an example, and she's not even his biological daughter)

©oblivious-nuisance - all rights reserved

no translations, edits, copying, reposting etc.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[bitty-bits]

A Week

A lot happened yet I'm still in the same place.

Oh yeah, is the RSS and newsletter stuff working? Tell me... I also wanna see if I can get the embed to show the first image so this post technically lacks a title I guess, let's see

The past week was very busy for me, I had to travel to another state to do some boring shit. Though I got to see people I haven't seen since the start of the pandemic, so that was nice.

Here's a little something since I couldn't write something in time last month.

Tumblr Nukes Me For No Reason

It seems to be a thing that happens with a certain frequency

On April 22nd, Tumblr completely deactivated my account (including this blog) for seemingly no reason - the only plausible reason being spam coming from my poor implementation of lu9bot from Twitter to Tumblr.

Well, this is no longer a problem, but it was still frustrating that it happened in the first place.

April Fools 2k22

I made an NFT, didn't sell it, and Totally Fooled Everyone with a very real hexagonal profile pic.

pfp used on that day

pfp after becoming corrupted by crypto

And in case you didn't know: If you upload a PNG with the exact dimensions of 400x400px as your profile pic, the image will retain its transparency! Nice!!!!!!!!!!

Other Stuff

Wow I'm bad at this

umm

Brazilian Chocolate Likes Toby Fox, I Think

That's a weird oddly specific one huh

I really don't know what else to say

I haven't done anything worthwhile in a long time lmao I get real lazy sometimes and just feel like sleeping all day but to be fair there was my trip and there's still more boring irl stuff to resolve, I just hope I don't end this month with nothing worth showing, and I really wanna do stuff related to Ketchup Dreams, and finally start it in some capacity. I also just wanna see other people draw my characters.

That said I'll still do this blog thing and eventually I'll figure out the right pace for me.

Bitty's Message of the Day

Draw me!